Tangible Benefits of Love

It’s hard to be humble when your lunch plate tells you how good-looking you are.

I have the privilege of being married to an extremely thoughtful man. My awareness of this has greatly increased since we got married and are living in the same house. He’s also clever, so I find myself chuckling and wondering where he gets his ideas shortly after the initial “Awww…” that runs through my brain every time he does something nice for me.

Two weeks ago, we were running late to school (again) and I was a little frazzled trying to get a lunch packed, cleaning up breakfast and trying to find my shoes so I could go get in the car. Aaron had already run out the door to clear the newly-fallen snow off our car. It snowed almost every night for a few weeks, so we always had a thin layer to clean off of everything. I threw my shoes on, grabbed lunch and scurried out the door to see that he’d stamped a heart into the snow on the hood of the car, which happens to be red. I smiled and felt the little frustrations of the morning drift away when I got in the car to see Aaron waiting with his cheesy, “I’m pleased with myself for doing something clever” grin.

A week earlier, Aaron got up around 4:30 in the morning to finish up some homework. I didn’t have as much to do, so I slept for another two hours before getting up to make breakfast. When I finally talked myself out of bed to feed my probably-starving husband, I made my way to the bathroom before going out to the kitchen. As I walked through, I noticed that there was something different about the toilet paper roll. Even at 5 a.m., Aaron retains his desire to make me happy. He had folded the toilet paper end into a triangle, like they do at hotels, and written “I (heart) You” on the triangle.

He tells me he loves me all the time, but it never hurts to have something you can reach out and touch that tells you, too.

You KNOW you’re loved when even the toilet paper says it.

Thanks, Aaron. I love you, too.

You, too, Mr. Toilet Paper.

Weatherproof

In early January, Aaron came home from town after finishing his homework on campus and making a quick trip to the store for me. He also brought with him a “window kit” for winterizing our trailer. After seeing our first power bill (for when we weren’t even living in the trailer yet), we were a little panicked about what it would look like once we actually lived there and used the heater, stove, washer and dryer, etc. Aaron decided to insulate the windows so we could save a little on our heating bill.

I was completely unfamiliar with the concept of a winterizing window kit, and I love knowing what the process is behind things, so I immediately attacked the package to figure out how it works. Apparently, you clean your window moldings and wipe them down with tiny alcohol pads, stick foamy double-stick adhesive around the perimeter and put plastic on the adhesive. This all seemed pretty standard to me, but then I got curious when I saw that the list of necessary tolls for installation included a hair dryer.

My father owns a mechanic and tire shop, so I’m pretty familiar with tools. Dad is also a handyman who often asked his daughters for help with projects, so I’m also pretty familiar with which tools you usually use to install things. Hair dryer was new to me as a “tool.”

Come to find out, the plastic sheeting is shrink wrap. I was immediately excited. For anyone who hasn’t experienced shrink wrapping something, you need to find something to shrink wrap. Right now. Stop reading and find something to shrink wrap.

It’s magical, isn’t it? J

We put this ridiculous plastic that was lumpy and wrinkled on our window and Aaron pointed and shot with the blow dryer. The plastic got smooth and tight like a drum so we could still see out our window perfectly. It’s also enabled us to learn to play the bass drum without actually buying the instrument. When Aaron turns on the music in the spare bedroom, I can keep the beat for any song that comes up with the simple use of a wooden spoon, masking tape, a kitchen towel and, my natural musical abilities and, of course, our shrink-wrapped window drum.

It had never occurred to me that you can shrink wrap an entire window. That’s probably why I’m not an engineer for DIY home improvement project equipment. I guess it occurred to someone that people might want to insulate their houses for the winter without installing new windows or sacrificing indoor light by putting blankets over their only portals to winter sunshine.

You might be a trailer house wife if you think shrink wrap is, not only the coolest thing since sliced bread, but even cooler.

Big Red

A few weeks ago, I learned about dust mites. Apparently, they’re tiny and extremely terrifying-looking bugs.  I actually saw a picture of one on the internet. If I were in a space movie, they’re exactly what I wouldn’t want to have chasing me through the jungles of a foreign planet.

Apparently, they multiply in your carpet and, if left unchecked, can devour small children and pets in less than 15 seconds. Larger pets and adults stand a chance for at least a few minutes if they’re fast runners.

Luckily, at our house, there is a way to keep them from taking over. We call him Big Red. We pull him out every week or so when we suspect that there is a silent and violent dust mite uprising happening beneath our feet.

Of the random and unfamiliar purchases we’ve made since being married, Big Red is undoubtedly our favorite. He creates an awe-inspiring vortex of suction to free our carpet of dust mites, dirt and other bits of carpet-unfriendly debris.

He has a canister on his front instead of a vacuum bag, so we can feel the satisfaction of seeing what used to be in our carpet and no longer is in our carpet. We suspect that some of the larger bits of dirty fuzzy stuff are probably the remains of dust mite office buildings. We’ll suffice it to say that we feel we’ve successfully wrecked the dust mite economy in our living room.

It's safe to say the dust mites won't be bothering us too much. No society can stand on a wrecked economy.

Our future children and any small pets we may someday have are safe.


Some twisted person actually made a stuffed animal dust mite. I HATE the pictures of
real ones and didn't want them on the blog, so just imagine this being
1 MILLION times more terrifying and you've got a REAL dust mite.
Also, this just made me laugh. Who makes plush dust mites? Honestly...

"We've Never Been Married Before" Mistakes

Every once in a while, Aaron and I realize that we’ve made a silly mistake. We suppose that, with time, we will become professional married people and the frequency with which we make these mistakes will decrease. For now, however, we will enjoy laughing at ourselves with the understanding that we’re still rookies in the marriage business.

We title these mistakes, “We’ve Never Been Married Before” mistakes. We attribute them to simple inexperience, which may or may not just be a ploy to make us feel better about ourselves.

Our most significant mistake thus far involves the purchase of our mattress. Aaron realized in mid-October that we would both be in need of a place to sleep in the near future, so he hopped online and began the search for a mattress. He decided to go for gold and get a king-sized mattress, because they were on sale for a steal.

We were both pretty excited about the prospect of having a place to sleep, and we anxiously awaited the day that it would be shipped to our local Sears store. It would be big, white, puffy, new and ours! Neither of us had ever made a substantial furniture purchase before, so we were feeling very much like grownups. Everyone knows that grownups get married and purchase furniture.

Shortly before the mattress arrived, Aaron double checked our invoice online and we came to a mildly disappointing discovery about the fantastic price of our mattress. The invoice very explicitly said, “MATTRESS ONLY.”

Translation: There is no box spring included.

Implications: Without a box spring, you cannot put a mattress on a bed frame. Hence, Aaron and I will be sleeping nine inches off the floor for a while.

Mattress companies apparently get some sort of sick pleasure out of knowing that people can end up with a new mattress and no box spring.  Quite frankly, we think it's funny, too, but we've also logged in our brains a caution against their wiles. You won't get us so easily next time, mattress people.

Granted, even just for half a set, he still got a good price and our mattress is rather comfy.

In addition, sleeping with our mattress on the floor makes us feel like poor newlyweds who live in a trailer, which somehow just seems appropriate for our situation in life.

The Shower Hypothesis

Many people have told me that they do their best thinking in the bathroom. Life’s mysteries are revealed to them in the shower and they dream up successful business ventures while brushing their teeth.

I had an epiphany in the bathroom the other day. Unfortunately, there are no resulting successful business ventures in sight.

The bathroom was slightly warmer than the rest of the house. One might go so far as to say that it was downright humid in there. No one had recently showered, we live in Idaho (which eliminates natural humidity as an option) and nowhere in our house is ever warm. Ever. I began investigating.

I helped Aaron study his chemistry flashcards on scientific method the other night. In my bathroom investigation, I decided to test my newfound skills as a self-proclaimed expert in the field of  scientific method.

Observation is the first step to forming a hypothesis. So I observed. I stood quietly for a moment until I heard the gentle trickle of water. We don’t live in a forest glade or near a fountain, so I suspected that something was amiss. I put my hand on the bathroom wall and followed the sound. My hand hadn’t gone far when it reached the corner by the shower. I felt moisture and hot air leaking out of the seam between the shower wall and the main structural wall of the trailer.

Observation: There is not a heater or a mist machine in our wall.

Hypothesis: Hot water is probably leaking into our wall.

Aaron was called into action to submit his opinion in his role of man and protecter-of-the-house, and then immediately called the landlord, Bob, who agreed to hurry over as quickly as possible.

Observations: 1. Bob is hurrying. 2. Bob is NEVER in a hurry. Hence...

Stregthened Hypothesis: It’s highly likely that hot water is leaking into our wall.

Everyone knows that once you form a hypothesis, you have to test it.

Bob decided to test our hypothesis with sophistocated scientific tools. In a matter of about three minutes, he had somehow procured a claw hammer. One minute later, a hole appeared in the wall, quickly followed by a small mountain of damp sheetrock bits next to the toilet.

The hole unearthed the problem and introduced facts to our hypothesis. The hot water is DEFINITELY leaking into our wall. We also found some missing pieces to our scientific guesswork. I had not considered the fact that there was probably also mold present.

When Bob called our attention to the mold, I remember saying something intelligent. I believe it was, “Eww.” Then we returned to what we were doing until we heard the gentle trickling of water change into a muffled rushing.

Observation: We don't live near a waterfall.

Hypothesis: There is a LOT of hot water leaking into our wall.

Bob said something about clearing the way to the water heater, which verified my concerns. We got the water shut off pretty quickly and Bob went to work wiggling pipes around until the problem was fixed.

One wet-vac, a quarter-roll of electrical tape, some 2x4s, a piece of plywood, some wood molding, a space heater and three days later, we had a complete bathroom wall again. Someday we'll get around to painting the molding and the plywood.

For now, every time I take a shower, I’m just thankful for hot water and leak-free walls.

Oh, and for scientific method.

Vermin

When we moved into our trailer on January 3^rd, we quickly realized that it hadn’t been wholly unoccupied in our absence. Mice, the scourge of the earth, had infiltrated our kitchen. As though trespassing isn’t a serious enough offense, they also had the audacity to nibble on our bag of bread flour. Being a person who believes in balancing mercy and justice, I took the mice to an unbiased family court judge. Judge Aaron deliberated the case long and hard for approximately 14 seconds before coming to a decision. Their sentence: death.

You might be a trailer house wife if the most exciting thing that happened to you last month was finding a dead mouse under your kitchen sink.

I hope that this doesn’t lead to a default topic of “you might be a trailer house wife if…” jokes.

For those of you who might think mice are cute, fluffy and more deserving of mercy than that, come sit in the drawer with my kitchen towels for a night. When you come out covered in tiny droppings with your t-shirt shredded by miniature claws, you’ll change your mind. If you like, I’ll put you and the kitchen towels through the washer with some disinfectant. If you stay there for the entire night, I’ll even get you a new t-shirt.

Justice was served. We set a few traps and caught a few mice. All of our appliances were unceremoniously yanked away from the walls, and anything that even resembled a hole promptly got crammed full of steel wool. Our walls have fuzzy gray stuff sticking out of them in odd places, but there have been no rodent sightings in the past week. We think we might have beaten them.

Just in case, we keep a trap set by the garbage can. A good trailer house wife never lets her guard down.

The Birth of a Great Idea

Sometimes you take a step back to look at your life and you say to yourself, “I’m a Communication major avoiding the internet AND I never write in a journal.” Suddenly, a brilliant idea is born. And so is a blog.

I’ve noticed in the last month that there is a smorgasbord of interesting things that come with the territory of being married. There are also some interesting things that come with the territory of living in a trailer. Combine the two, and the adventures seem ceaseless. You’ll find here a brief glazing over of the amusing (and occasionally insightful) things that come along with the marriage of Aaron and Jodi…and their new living accomodations as married people who feel terribly grown up.