Big Red

A few weeks ago, I learned about dust mites. Apparently, they’re tiny and extremely terrifying-looking bugs.  I actually saw a picture of one on the internet. If I were in a space movie, they’re exactly what I wouldn’t want to have chasing me through the jungles of a foreign planet.

Apparently, they multiply in your carpet and, if left unchecked, can devour small children and pets in less than 15 seconds. Larger pets and adults stand a chance for at least a few minutes if they’re fast runners.

Luckily, at our house, there is a way to keep them from taking over. We call him Big Red. We pull him out every week or so when we suspect that there is a silent and violent dust mite uprising happening beneath our feet.

Of the random and unfamiliar purchases we’ve made since being married, Big Red is undoubtedly our favorite. He creates an awe-inspiring vortex of suction to free our carpet of dust mites, dirt and other bits of carpet-unfriendly debris.

He has a canister on his front instead of a vacuum bag, so we can feel the satisfaction of seeing what used to be in our carpet and no longer is in our carpet. We suspect that some of the larger bits of dirty fuzzy stuff are probably the remains of dust mite office buildings. We’ll suffice it to say that we feel we’ve successfully wrecked the dust mite economy in our living room.

It's safe to say the dust mites won't be bothering us too much. No society can stand on a wrecked economy.

Our future children and any small pets we may someday have are safe.


Some twisted person actually made a stuffed animal dust mite. I HATE the pictures of
real ones and didn't want them on the blog, so just imagine this being
1 MILLION times more terrifying and you've got a REAL dust mite.
Also, this just made me laugh. Who makes plush dust mites? Honestly...