Being married has also turned out to be an extreme practice in the humbling of Jodi, which I was expecting and am thankful for. Something I didn’t expect, however, was to be humbled by so many other things in planning a reception, opening gifts, etc. As I look back, it is absolutely incredible to me how good people were to us.
Aaron and I were both heavily involved in school, church responsibilities and trying to take time to get to know each other better before we entered into this crazy establishment they call marriage. I had little time to spend planning a wedding, and I realize now that I didn’t spend much time. Almost everything for the most important day of our lives was taken care of by other people.
My parents made extra trips to our little college town to work out wedding details and they paid for dresses, refreshments, flowers and a million other little things I’m sure I don’t even know about.
Dad broke several ribs a few weeks before the wedding and definitely wasn’t fully recovered by the time it rolled around. But he was there for the whole thing, and no one ever heard him complain. All things considered, it’s probably just because he likes Aaron so much…
Mom spent hours looking for clothes in the color sage for the bridesmaids and made dozens of trips back and forth looking for things I wanted. She also put up with the fact that I was too busy with trying to survive school to care about planning a wedding approximately 80 percent of the time.
My sisters planned and executed my bridal shower, made my wedding flowers, hot glued stars, ribbons and berries onto everything imaginable to make centerpieces, ordered little girls’ dresses, hunted down our relatives and friends to make address lists, hand dipped pretzels in chocolate and baked cookies and Bundt cakes for our refreshments.
Aaron’s parents paid to fly the family into Twin Falls so everyone could be there. They also paid for all our food and lodging on our honeymoon. After the honeymoon, they flew us into California where they drove us to and from the airport, arranged a nice open house for us, took us fun places, fed us, entertained us and put up with us even though we’re crazy. His mother, grandmother, aunt and cousin even made an extra trip to Jerome for my bridal shower on Thanksgiving weekend. The weather was miserable. They were troopers anyway.
What’s incredible is that this is only a small fraction of what went on. Dozens of people brought cards, appliances, homemade art for our walls, mixing bowls and a smorgasbord of other house wares that I don’t have time to name. For weeks after our wedding, cards and packages continued to arrive in the mail, some of them from people we don’t even really know. Yet, they were generous and happy for us simply because they knew our parents or were associated with us in some other unknown way. All of these people took time from their busy schedules to do something for us when, more often than not, we knew we’d never done anything for them and probably never will, other than sending a thank you card.
When we returned to Idaho from California and prepared to move into our trailer, my dad informed us that they’d found us a used washer and dryer, which they bought and traveled three hours to deliver for us along with a couch, a piano and several other pieces of furniture that are currently on loan from them. My oldest sister and her little family came to help move us in and my brother-in-law, our landlord and his son helped lift the piano through the back door of the trailer.
It was a humbling lesson in generosity for me. Generosity and the fact that we really can’t make it through this life alone.
We owe so much to so many, and no thanks could ever be adequate. Some of those who helped us with the wedding and starting our new home are people we’ll never see again. Others are still in our lives every day, continually helping us with little things here and there, expecting nothing in return. Sending notes, helping where we can and simply saying “thank you” seem to be the only actions we can really take at this point to pay back people who refuse to be paid back.
I look to all of their examples, excited as each new day begins to help someone in some small way. As I mentioned, thanks can never be adequate for all everyone has done and will doubtlessly continue to do, but I’ll try anyway.
From the very bottom of my newlywed heart, thank you.
And, for your information, my newlywed heart is pretty big and goes down deep.
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